remember this: YOU were used. This is what I consider the worst aspect of an MLM. At the time you genuinely thought you were doing the right thing to get people to join. You were, literally, brainwashed to do this.
Other people took you, got into your brain, messed with your mind, and convinced you they were right. They used you to recruit people into their organization. They turned you into someone who would act as you did.
I’m not going to get into just what you were and were not responsible for, but do remember that while you were doing these things you were under the influence of experts who knew how to twist your thinking and convince you to do what they wanted you to do, not what you normally would have thought you should do.